Yareli

"Growing up, I rejected my Mexican culture."

By Students of NYC

January 3^rd, 2025

"I'm a very shy person. I really didn't like talking to people — I liked to be on my own. There's this movie, 'Sing,' and my mother would tell me that I was just like the character who was super shy — the elephant. Growing up, I rejected my Mexican culture. I was a scared little kid, and was even scared of the culture in a way. I’d always hear stories about Mexican people getting yelled at to get out of the country, or to speak English. You know, the mean stuff that people say. So I really shut down the Spanish side and focused on my American side. That took a toll on me. My grandparents would only speak Spanish to me, and tell me stories, and I understood them but I never spoke back. Just smiles, nods, stuff like that. Chinelos are traditional Mexican dancers who dance in these beautiful masks, with these beautiful ponchos and beads, fluffy seeds, a huge hat, like a three layer cake upside down. Growing up, when I’d see the dancers come out at my church, my mom said I'd run and hide under the table. My cousins would all enjoy it, but I didn't embrace it for some reason.

But when my grandfather died, something changed in me. I felt all this guilt, like, I never should have rejected my culture. I wish I would have talked to him more, built a relationship. I should have never pushed him, or pushed my culture, away.

There was a huge earthquake in Mexico back in 2017. I saw a video of my grandfather during that time. He was handing out sandwiches to people in need. They had this old pickup truck and were giving the food out to people who had lost their homes. So many places experience earthquakes and natural disasters, and they are in areas without structural resources or money. Beautiful buildings and architecture get destroyed. My father, he does construction. He grew up in Mexico and didn’t have the opportunity to have an engineering education. I believe construction workers are the real engineers. They are out here working hard, day and night. In extreme heat and extreme cold. They do real problem-solving in the field. Growing up, my father would tell me stories, and I remember I would never hear him say the word “she” when he was talking about engineers who work on his site. I never heard him reference a Hispanic engineer either. And I think that motivated me. I want to study engineering so I can make buildings in vulnerable zones more structured. I want it to be more efficient and safe, and reduce costs. Around 30 percent of climate emissions are coming from building these new buildings and it’s really going to cost us our beautiful planet for the next generation. This is my passion. I think it all came from that earthquake, that video of my grandfather, the stories from my father. I want to do research and go around the world to provide those resources and help others. And be that female Hispanic engineer for some other little girl to look up to, and think, that could be me.

There was a church event recently, and the Chinelos came out and started dancing. Something felt different. My grandfather had just died, I had really started thinking more about my culture and what it meant to me. I felt this urge to get up and dance, and to believe in the culture that I refused as a child. So I did. It felt like my elephant in 'Sing' moment when she gets up and uses her voice. I started to dance with my cousins and it was just pride and joy, seeing the vibrant colors, these people, it was like I saw them in a whole new way. They were representative of Mexico, and the more that I realized it, the more details appeared and the more I just felt like: This is my culture, this is where I come from. This is what I want to teach my kids in the future."